someone get that fucking seahorse.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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