There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize