He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize