so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
