David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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