you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
