it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
