Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize