i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
