I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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