Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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