remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
