she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
