and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
