I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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