so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
