theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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