Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Randomize
