Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
