Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
