No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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