Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
