I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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