I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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