How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
What drink are we having for lunch?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
