I want to walk on stilts...naked
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
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