I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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