we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
