Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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