I queefed so loud it echoed.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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