At least make sure they are 18
Why
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
