my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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