We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
