Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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