dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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