this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Randomize
