so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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