I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
