i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
