At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
