Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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