This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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