I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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