i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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