i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I believe in your delicious
You did what with his pubic hair?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
