I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
