i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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