Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
