The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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