I wish my penis had an off switch
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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