It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
