I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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