My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
