i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
