As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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