Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
