u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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