blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Houston, we have a blender
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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