We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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