I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
