Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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