We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
