Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
