You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
